| so i have a boyfriend now... |
[Apr. 4th, 2006|01:37 pm] |
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yea...short story...i met him in a club...we chilled for awhile...practically the whole next day...and i started to like him...then i didn't hear from him for awhile..3 wks to be exact lol...then last monday he shows up at my door and is like i miss u...and we hung out for a bit in my room and talked n stuff and he asked me out...and so far so good...im happy...and its a really good feeling :) |
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| woops |
[Feb. 22nd, 2006|09:26 pm] |
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u can ignore my last entry...i wuz really upset and really depressed and said some crazy stuff...yea i dunno its the drugs...but w/e i sed i wuzn't serious....speakin outta anger not too cool |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 9th, 2006|09:52 pm] |
aww lookie at my nephews puppy...he's a lot bigger now, but he's a cutie pie
and that concludes my random entrty for the wk
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| school at last? |
[Jan. 31st, 2006|04:03 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hopeful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Because of You - Kelly Clarkson | ] |
i finally started classes today...so far so good...but it is only the first day...i have one more in lyk 25 minutes, but im not worried about it cuz its intro to philosophy n i love it...i like all of my classes so far...but i can see me struggling with two...not lyk failing struggling...but C-C+C struggling...the others if i work hard i think i can get A's or high B's in them...wish me luck!
i saw an old friend today...that i met at work...got sum catching up to do....maybe...lol
welp i'm off to class
<3 |
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| don't want a relationship |
[Jan. 23rd, 2006|08:44 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  flirty | ] |
| [ | music |
| | More Than a Woman | ] |
but i love that cute lovey dovey shit...holding hands, watchin movies n
cuddling...pokin fun at ea. other...its weird i haven't done that with
a lot of my b/f's but it happens with him all
the time and i love it...he's an amazing friend and i love wat we
have...our friendship is nice where it is :) he did leave for
awhile...and wen i was on break and i def. missed him...i was lyk oh
wow...but its all good cuz he missed me too
but yea...saturday i was losin it...everything this guy
(diff guy) was saying to me wud remind me of my ex...and i juss got
quiet n started shutting him out...i dunt think he could tell, but i
gotta stop missing my ex, seriously...i've done all i can to get in
touch with him and that's that...time to move on with my life
1 yr, 1 month, and 4 dayz til i'm legal
bein 16 sux
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| if you take your love... |
[Jan. 19th, 2006|04:18 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  on the verge of tears | ] |
| [ | music |
| | All I Do is Think of You - Troop | ] |
away from me, i'll go crazy...i'll go insane
i fuckin love that song (Blackstreet - Don't Leave Me)
i love a whole lotta R&B songs from "before my time"
i honestly think i was born in the wrong year...i could live with being 18..i mean i'd still be listenin 2 music a lil older than be...but 18 wud be a good age...i'm sure i could handle that being in college and all...and lemme tell u...skippin grades woohoo! but that dies out...if i had a chance to do it again...i def wudn't...and if my kid(s) ever get that oppurtunity i'm saying no...cuz wtf...who wants to hang out with a 16 yr old, that cant get into any clubs, or go anywhere...ummm not many ppl thats who...i swear...i still think about dropping out n just waiting til i'm 18...at least i can get more of a college experience...yea...independence, yea roommate, yea job...but...friends...wats the word im looking for...barely there...lets be serious ppl...if u knew of a 16 y/o in college...wud u really wanna hang around them often? uhh not really cuz u wudn't realli be able to do much...but eh...guess i gotta suck it up n deal right? i was SO lookin forward to goin back to HU, and now i'm not that excited...at least i'll have the room to myself for awhile...and i'll have someone who actually wants to see me...i dunno anymore
"a dream, a simple fantasy that i wish was reality...that you'd come knocking at my door...and we'd relive this dream once more....a dream..."
its always just a dream </3 |
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| so confused |
[Jan. 13th, 2006|01:10 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bitchy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | 213 - Joystick | ] |
its been so long since i've updated...i dunt even remember if i sed happy new year...so if not i'm sorry...happy friday the 13th! hope that makes up for it...lol
but seriously i've gotten myself into some deep shit, and i've got no1 to blame but me
1. im missin the ex...LIKE CRAZY...i'm trying not too, but i'm failing miserably
2. i got a friend...kinda more than a friend? but not a boyfriend -- i'm tryin not to like him cuz i don't realli want a boyfriend or anything, but come on...why wen im not looking i find someone that could potentially be a good man ::sigh::
3. DEEP SHIT HERE--> just re-opened a closed door in my past...it wasn't intentional but wth it still happened -- saw a s/n i didn't recognize in my recent buddies list...so im lyk uhh who are u n why are u in my recent buddies list...turns out it was guy i was fallin in love wit sometime last year...n i think he was startin to do the same...one day he ups n just stops talkin to me...my verdict - he was scared of wat he was feeling...wat really happened - who knows...turns out he blocked me on all my s/nz but forgot one? (un)fortunately...so yea..now those feelings are back...but not as strong cuz im still VERY pissed at him...sincere apology or not
4. i dunt even remember...i wanna go back to school...its borin here...most of my friends are gone this wknd...cept for the ones that go to school in jersey...but yea...kinda pointless bein here...everyone is either at work or at school (aww schnookie)
5. and i miss my wifey! i haven't talked to her in umpteen years it feels lyk...its prolly only bn a couple of days, but thats a couple of days too much!
so yea there's my random babble for a week or so...maybe more...wat if i did this every day...lets not imagine that |
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| i miss him... |
[Dec. 27th, 2005|10:12 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  ambivalent | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Other Chicks - Ciara | ] |
i guess i've been in denial lately, or maybe there's juss two sides of me...on the one hand, i like being single...bein able to hang out with whomever i want without hurting someone elses feelings...but on the other hand, i REALLY miss my ex...really really badly...i haven't talked to him in soo long, he could be dead and i wudn't even know...he's prolly not dead, but still...ugh i juss wanna talk to him...we dont even hafta go back out cuz i dont think thats a good idea at the moment, but still just to hear his voice wud be nice...i need help...
on a happy note...only 3 more days til i can get sum happiness
hope u all had a great christmas...i got:
from friends:
dvd(s)
yummy smelling stuff (french vanilla and lavender)
gift certificate
spongebob ornaments
from family:
greenday cd
lovespell stuff
cd player
earrings
watch
pajama pants
spongebob stuffed animal
from myself:
my nails done
greenday cd
from santa:
guess purse
thanks everyone for the awesome gifts |
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| i can't do this.... |
[Dec. 19th, 2005|12:06 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Next to You - Ciara | ] |
i'm soo confused...everytime i think im gettin over my ex something reminds me of him and i miss him again...i don't wanna be with him, but i dunno its just weird...i loved him, i dunno if i still do. i don't wanna love him tho...ugh, i'm through with him...and just when i was lovin the single life, i meet someone who i like...a lot...and i can't figure out why...and he's not a bad person...at least it duzn't seem like it...it's like he's too good to be true? and i keep tryna find faults (and i know i shudn't cuz that'll juss ruin everything) but after a string of bad relationships and male friends treating me bad in general, i can't help myself...but i dunt wanna scare the new guy away cuz if anything im sure he'll make a great friend. im soo confused...i've had these two songs "So Sick" ~ Ne-Yo and "Next to You" ~ Ciara on repeat all wknd...ugh, my messed up hormones and my bro not comin home for christmas isn't helpin at all...i need closure before i go back home...wish me luck |
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| yay! |
[Dec. 12th, 2005|08:00 pm] |
i go home in 8 days!!
and i can't wait!!
the single/playing the field life is pretty fuckin awesome
that is all.
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| wow... |
[Dec. 4th, 2005|06:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | crushed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Kelly Clarkson - Because of You | ] |
its bn awhile since i've updated...im in an awful mood rite now...i
dunno wut im feeling and it sux mucho...im mad at myself for telling him that i like him....ugh...im so confused...im not heartbroken cuz im not in love....but damn this shit hurts i
wish life would give me a break for once...i mean am i that bad of a
person that shit has to go wrong 90% of the time? guess thats wut
happens cuz life aint fair :/ i cant even finish updating...i need some me time
ps - it snowed here :)
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| Wifey |
[Nov. 18th, 2005|06:32 pm] |
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so my wifey moved into her new house! im PMSing lyk crazy...so keep ur food on lock...cuz i mite eat it...my emotions are goin crazy so i dont feel lyk postin...bbl maybe |
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| *sigh* |
[Nov. 14th, 2005|05:19 pm] |
there will never come a day, you will never hear me say, that I want, or need to be without you...
but damnit stop lying to me...my ex-boyfriend (we're currently takin a break) is tryna come up with every excuse for makin me feel lyk nothing...but i wish he wud just tell the truth...everytime i think of takin him back he duz sumthing to make me prolong the break...i dunno wut to do...why couldn't life be easy...at least for a few months |
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| Must be nice... |
[Nov. 10th, 2005|05:28 pm] |
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i really need a website to host my stories...it'd be nice if there were more hours in the day so i could learn how to make one...im sleepy...ALWAYS...even when im hyper, subconsciously im sleepy...i miss *him* :( its mad cold outside...freezing...i miss home...blah...my feelings are all over the place...imma die...im done...oh and my cellie is fixed...and i didn't hafta get all the numbers cuz im smart and save em to the phone...GO ME! k now im done |
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| Happy Halloween |
[Oct. 31st, 2005|02:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | and lonely | ] |
and this post has nuthing to do with it...except to say that i'm having a bad one...i didn't get any sleep at all...so im really tired...my phone can't be fixed and im gonna need to get ALL the numbers ALL over again....lmao at ALL lyk i have a lot of friends...anways...im way behind in calc...thank goodness i can easily catch up in english and history...well not easily...but easier than with calc....im stressed about scheduling classes...i haven't talked to my b/f in 3 days n he's coming up here 2morra...oh and when i wanted to talk to my counselor/therapist she wasn't there...grr...wut if it was a life/death situation?!?! oh and how could i 4get my doubt of my decision to come to college now instead of wait a year or two...i might even go home...i dunno...everything is muy wacked out and im not really enjoyin myself...tho i put on a good front (at times)....i also need an academic advisor if i choose to stay...so much to do so little time...work is messing up my already fucked up sleeping schedule...i figured if i had to work on the typical "go out" nites then i wudn't feel as bad that i couldn't go out cuz im not old enuff...it wud be cuz i hafta work...but thats not really helping...my life is all work and no play...and i really dont wanna become a dull boy....well maybe a boy...jay kay...im off to go lay down and look at schedules...i was sposed to do laundry...but it can wait one more day...hope ur all having a good day and...
HAPPY HALLOWEEN |
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| ugh |
[Oct. 29th, 2005|10:46 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
work is fuckin up my already fucked sleep schedule...its crazy...meh...im so tired...but im afraid if i sleep now ill sleep too late...and then not be able to get in a nap b4 work at 4 am...ugh welcome to the real world...i have a headache but i dont wanna eat cuz that involves going all the way downstairs to get food which will take the sleep outta me...meh...i dunno...im exhausted...maybe ill just go to sleep |
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| Hey kiddies |
[Oct. 25th, 2005|11:09 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | damn cramps | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Fall Out Boy - Dance Dance | ] |
oh sweet college life! i'm actually starting to enjoy it more :) i maded sum new friendies, and i got a job! ::pauses for a moment of silence because of this fact:: okie dokies! my first official job that i got on my own :D im muy excited...and yes i speak spanglish...i work in the booths outside/downstairs from various residential areas...its not an exciting job, but it pays...so i'm happy. im also really homesick...i wanna just go home for a week. although im enjoying school i need a break...i cant wait for thanksgiving to come...maybe if i get paid b4 then ill make a suprise visit home...that wud be fucktawesome (wifey u come up with the best words)BUT i'm definitely going home for thanksgiving.
have u ever been with someone and they are so good to you but u've bn treated so bad in the past that u don't know how to act? like u try to find something wrong to justify the reason ur being stand-offish...i've never had someone this good...and if i keep it up imma lose him...ugh what's wrong with me...i dont wanna lose him...i love him oh so much...God please help me... |
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| college |
[Oct. 15th, 2005|12:21 am] |
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How's college life u ask...eh its alright. kinda sucky but its getting better...it is kinda cool being on my own and independent and such, but then again i miss home and my friends back home. Plus i haven't met a lot of people...but there's more time for that so i'm not as dissapointed as i was about a week ago. But for now my view on college is that its overrated...VERY overrated. Homecoming is this wknd...not that i know wut that is other than a football game...never had a homecoming. why you ask? cuz my school didn't have sports...and i dont think u can have homecoming for fencing or ultimate frisbee...but wut do i kno...i guess its possible. i've learned recently that most guys are assholes...i used to think of each guy as different and not compare him with other guys in my past...but im struggling with that and just saying fuck all u dudes...ill just be a lesbo...but i still have a smidget of hope for males...so i wont be coming out the closet yet...i say yet cuz i dunno how much more of this shit i can take...well enuff on how guys piss me off...thankfully there are no classes tomorrow cuz i have a feeling i'll be up for a long time...and that sux cuz i only go 2.5 hrs of sleep...but umm yea i think thats enuff... |
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| Quizzie |
[Oct. 9th, 2005|02:06 am] |
Welcome to the new edition of getting to know your (nosey) friends. Okay, here's what you're supposed to do, and try not to be lame and spoil the fun!
1. What is your occupation? student
2. Banana sandwiches? naa
3. What are you listening to right now? R. Kelly
4.What was the last thing you ate? cake
5.Do you wish on stars? no
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? purple
7. How is the weather right now? pouring
8.Last person you spoke to on the phone? Vik
9. Do you like the person who sent this to you? yea
10. How old are you today? 16
11. Favorite sport to watch? basketball
12.Have you ever dyed your hair? nope
13. Do you wear contacts or glasses? yeh
14.. Pets? nope
16.Favorite month? July
17. Favorite food? italian
18. What was the last movie you watched? hide and seek
19. Favorite day of the year? christmas
20. What do you do to vent your anger? nuthin...its bad i kno
21.What was your favorite toy as a child? Shandy my doll
22. Fall or Spring? fall...it rains too much in spring
23. Hugs or kisses? kisses
24. Cherry or blueberry? cherry
25. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back? n/a
26.Who is most likely to respond? n/a
27. Who is least likely to respond? n/a
28. Living arrangements? dorm
29. When was the last time you cried? yesterday
30. What is on the floor of your closet? shoes
31. Who is the friend you had the longest? steph
32. What did you do last night? went to nyc
33. What are you afraid of? loneliness and spiders
35. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? cheese
36. Favorite car? mercedes benz
37. Favorite dog breed? anything small
38. Number of keys on your key ring? 1
39. How many years at your current job? n/a
40. Favorite day of the week? friday
41. How many states have you lived in? 2
42. How many cities have you lived in? 2 |
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| Androids, Coldstone, Starbucks and more |
[Oct. 8th, 2005|08:13 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | and a lil tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | She Don't Have to Know - John Legend | ] |
okay so yesterday i went with my philosophy class to see a play "The Intelligent Design of Jenny Chow" its about a girl who builds an android that looks lyk her to go see her REAL mother for her (the girl was adopted and cant leave the house...some OCD thing) anyways it was extraordinary...it was SOOOOO good i'd so go see it again. so afterwards we (a group of me n my classmates) go walkin to union square and then we decide we want ice cream cuz its VERY humid outside despite the rain (which ruined my nicely flipped hair) so we go to this tiny place and then Jeremy suggests we go to Coldstone...i've heard great reviews so we go...and it is sooo amazing...if u ever get a chance to go there...please do. So then we go to starbucks to eat our ice cream, and we get free water...they cant say no...so we chill n chat for awhile...fun times...then we go to the place that has THE BEST FRIES EVER!!!!!!!!! we got free samples...hey we're college students and we like free shit...get used to it...after awhile we start getting tired and head back towards penn station...where we learn we have an hours wait...so we go and chill in another starbucks with Jeremy n I going to get pizza cuz we were hungry...it was good pizza...i woulda preferred the fries but they wouldn't have been hot...so we get back to HU at lyk 3:45am...say our goodbyes and i get up to my room n change out my nasty clothes and decide to do laundry...at 4 in the morning...i had a lotta laundry n the laundry wuz empty and since i was wide awake i decided i mite as well do it now...and i was gettin ready to go to bed and i decided to update for all u cats and kittens cuz i love u oh so much...i had a wonderful friday nite/saturday morning and now im off to bed at 8:20 in the AM...gnite/morning...holla atcha gurl |
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